Letting People Know What You Need

Imagine going through a tough period of your life and wanting support from family and friends... without judgement, without advice, just a safe support network. However, anytime you attempt to reach out, people give you unsolicited advice or talk to you about their experiences, leaving you feeling like no one understands you. Ever have this experience? Then keep reading...

Usually when people give unsolicited advice or share experiences, it's because they want you to know you're not alone, or because they want to be helpful but may feel lost as to how to help. If you aren't speaking up, then the loneliness and frustration can cycle. Every person reacts differently to similar situations; hence, no one can possibly know how YOU feel... only how THEY would feel. Therefore, it's important to let people know how you feel and what you need from them to help you through this trying time. It'll give you an opportunity to reach out and give others to help you the way you really need it.

Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness

Do you know the difference between being assertive and being aggressive? Being assertive is having the ability to set boundaries for yourself and standing up for your rights in a respectful way. Being aggressive, on the other hand, means to state your points in a way that may intimidate and manipulate your partner into giving up their own beliefs to pacify your own.

The question to ask yourself: Why would you really want your partner to agree with you because you've intimidated them into believing as yourself?

Related articles

• Assertive, Not Aggressive (psychologytoday.com)
• How to Develop Assertiveness (socyberty.com)