Fostering Intimacy

Last week I went to a conference specifically for couples training. I walked away with a lot of information, but one caveat that stood out is how many couples engage in situations which prevent them from achieving the thing they want most. Many couples I work with complain of wanting more intimacy or "connection," in their relationship. However, they sabotage any chance of obtaining that intimacy because they cannot be honest with themselves, nor their partner. The relationship becomes built upon façades and masks...for each person to only see what they think their partner wants to see, rather than showing each other who they "truly" are.

As the relationship continues, the need to appease each other becomes more important than maintaining their own values and beliefs. Whether it's because they want to "keep the peace," or are afraid of hurting their partner, it's often seen that couples begin to "bite their tongue" or "pick and choose their battles." What ends up resulting is resentment and frustration. Neither of these feelings are productive nor beneficial towards fostering an intimate relationship.

The bottom line is you can't be intimate if you can't be honest....with yourself....with your partner.