When I sit with a couple in my office, I'll ask them why they continue to tolerate bad behaviors from their partner, especially if they are already convinced their partner will never change? More often than not, the response will be something to the effect of, "Because I love him/her?" So, now I'll offer this question, "Is love *really* enough?" I'm not suggesting people break up with their partners, in fact, I usually continue to work towards a fulfilling relationship as long as the couple continues attending counseling sessions. What I am suggesting is to take careful inventory of your relationship & really look at what you can be doing differently in order to build upon the love you've built together.
If your partner is continually doing something that you feel is disrespecting you, ask yourself these questions:
1) Why would s/he disrespect me time and again if they really loved me?
2) Why would I continue to tolerate such behaviors from someone I love?
You will be disrespected if you don't respect yourself first. You won't be loved the way you deserve if you don't love yourself first. Boundaries will only be respected if you respect and uphold your own boundaries first. Love in of itself is not the sole foundation of a relationship, but it is the glue to move the relationship through tough times & relish in the good times.
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