Define Yourself!

Have you ever experienced a situation where your gut is telling you that you need to speak up to your partner, but you "know" how your partner is going to react, so you choose to stay quiet? Because, what's the point, right? You "know" it'll just be another argument or you'll end up regretting it. However, what really occurs is an inner conflict, resulting in resentment that you didn't speak up to begin with and you take it out on your partner, who didn't know you were upset with the situation anyway. After a while, you realize you've lost "yourself or your "voice" in this relationship. Sound familiar?

Consider this: At what point did you decide the fear of your partner's possible reaction become more important than the need to speak up about something you felt was important to you? What gives your partner's needs, reactions, and/or responses more weight to the relationship than your own?

In order for you to have a "voice" in the relationship, you must be able to use your "voice." Silencing yourself isn't the way to maintain a healthy relationship. Absence of conflict is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Speaking up and providing a "voice" to issues that are important to you IS a healthy way of maintaining your identity and defining yourself as a viable partner in the relationship.