Rescuing Others vs. Rescuing Yourself

There is a reason when someone is drowning, a life preserver is thrown to the person rather than another person jumping in after them. Why? Because when someone is drowning, they will climb upon whatever they can to try to keep themselves afloat, usually at the risk of whatever they're climbing upon. If it happens to be another person, the danger of both the rescuer and rescuee drowning.

If you are in a relationship where your partner is dealing with an illness, depression, or even an addiction, there may be times where you will watch your partner struggle & even feel like they're drowning. You may deal with periods of helplessness or hopelessness when they make decisions that you don't agree with. You want them to follow doctor's orders or treatment guidelines, but they don't want to. You may feel compelled to give them their medications or make their doctor appointments, in order to keep them compliant with their treatment. Have you ever asked yourself why you care more about them getting better than they do themselves? If so, read on...

Because you care about your partner, you want to do whatever you can in order to help them. The problem is you're exhausted trying to convince them to take care of themselves. You're attempts to rescue them can easily result in burning out because you're trying to rescue someone who might not want to be rescued. So then the question becomes: Why does rescuing your partner become more important than rescuing yourself? There is a difference between providing healthy support to a partner in need and trying to rescue them from their own situation. At some point, your partner has to take responsibility for themselves. Doing the work for them will not help them get better and it increases the potential of your own burnout. Take care of yourself and, in turn, you'll be able to be stronger for your partner.