What is a Relationship?

Let's look at this at the most basic level. Two people meet, the decide there's enough compatibility to move forward and enter into a relationship. They become exclusive and within a period of time, the relationship may become flat, arguments may occur, or unwanted behaviors begin to surface. So what changed? How is it 2 people who entered into this relationship ends up having such problems? Actually, it's more obvious than you might think...

When people enter into a relationship, they tend to go with their feelings... that "spark" or "click." What tends to be overlooked are the "terms" of the relationship. What does "exclusive mean"? How often do you want to see each other? How often do you expect to have sex? Do you want to be kissed in the morning? Do you want to hear "I love you" before you go to sleep? Who will empty the dishwasher? Who will do the laundry? This is just the tip of the iceberg, but it goes to show how many of the "details" aren't addressed when people jump into a relationship. It's when these "terms" come to the surface, that people start to realize their first instincts about one another may be the right ones.

So what's a couple to do? Well, negotiating all "terms" of the relationship as they come to the surface is the best way to work out differences. So come to the "table" and be open, honest and talk about what it is you are willing to agree to... only until each point is negotiated and agreed upon can you move forward. It's also to remember that, like a contract, relationships need to be revisited periodically as the dynamics of your relationship changes.