Is "In Treatment" Really What Happens in Therapy?

People have asked me this often in the past few weeks. If you've been watching HBO's new series, "In Treatment," you would see a therapist go through the following:

Reciprocating romantic feelings for a client.
Having a client fall in love with another client.
Get into a physical altercation with another client.
Have a teenager attempt suicide in the office.
Go to their own supervisor for personal therapy.

Plus so much more!

In truth, therapists do have struggles and difficult clients, but since 1999, when I began working with clients, I have never experienced most of these issues, as well as practically all the therapists I personally know and affiliate with.

Do clients form romantic feelings for therapists? It can happen, and does happen to most therapists at one time or another. It's a process clients go through when the therapist has proved a safe, nurturing environment for the client to be able to work through their pain and begin to heal. That process is so strong, that a client's feelings may be misconstrued as romantic feelings. A competent therapist recognizes these feelings and uses this interaction to further process the healing.

In general, therapists don't fall in love with their clients (although it has been known to happen), therapists don't push their clients into bookcases, and don't have client attempt suicide in their office. This television show has some wonderful acting and some great moments that draw the viewer in, but remember, it's ultimately a TV show!

If you have seen it and have concerns, please post them! We can address them here!

Wanting More From Your Counselor

Counseling is a very interesting process. You come in spilling your guts to another person who is practically a stranger. You tell them things you've never told anyone else. You may have broken down in tears when you're upset, or maybe have turned to them when you're feeling like you're at your lowest point. And all this time, they've never judged you or shamed you...just provided the support and guidance you needed to get through these rough times.

Suddenly, you may find you are having feelings towards this person. You may want to become friends with them or even closer...maybe even have feelings of love. So what's the problem?

If your counselor is true to your therapy, they cannot reciprocate your feelings. It's understandable you would have such strong feelings for your counselor. You have put your trust in them and become vulnerable during some difficult times. For your counselor to share your feelings could have detrimental effects. They will not be able to maintain the objectivity, which you sought out in the first place. Counseling is a professional relationship which can sometimes feel very personal. However, it isn't personal. Do you pay your friends and family to talk to you? Probably not.

Your counselor is trained to deal with these issues. They can help you process your feelings in a positive way. However, if your feelings begin to overtake the therapy, your counselor may recommend (as a last resort) to transfer your therapy to another counselor, who can continue the work. Although this can feel like rejection, the counselor is really doing what is in your best interest. They want to see you succeed in life, and will not be able to help you achieve this if they are personally involved in your life.