Relationships are based on several simple principles: trust, honesty, love, and respect. However, there is an expectation that these principles are a given... that they are a right. With such thinking, it's easy to see why couples get into conflict so easily. They "demand" respect, trust and honesty, but these ideals aren't a given right... they need to be earned.
Why would anyone respect you if you're not willing to respect yourself first? If your partner is acting in a way that hurts you, tolerating the negative behavior only demonstrates to your partner that it's okay they treat you this way. The only way this unwanted behavior will cease is to demonstrate (not just talk about it) how you will not tolerate the behavior. In some cases, it may mean taking a stand and be willing to walk away from a relationship. But think about this... why would you want to remain in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you?
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2 comments:
Good post Jodi. We negotiate our worth in a relationship. It is faulty reasoning to believe that your partner will value you if you establish low worth. We must demand our value or - as you say - distance from a partner that does not value us.
Thanks Lee. I emphasize this a lot with the couples I work with. All too often, they concentrate on getting their self-worth from their partner rather than looking at how they can provide this to themselves.
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