What is Commitment?

It's real easy to say you're "committed" to another, but what does that really mean? Does it mean you vow not to be physically intimate with anyone else? Does it mean you want this person to be in your life for eternity? Or does it mean something else?

If you haven't really given much thought to this word "commitment," I encourage you to start think about it now. To make a relationship work, "commitment" must be much more than just the act of promising fidelity to your partner. It's also not so self-centered that it means to want this person in "your" life for "eternity." "Commitment" must be the demonstration of what you're willing to do to for your partner...to demonstrate that you want to be invested in their world more than they are a part of your world. By demonstrating your own willingness, your partner will want to reciprocate that demonstration of willingness and commitment.

If you realize you're working harder at demonstrating commitment to your partner more than they are reciprocating, then it's time to evaluate if the level of your partner's commitment is enough for you. If it is, then great! You've made a good match. If not, then you may need to evaluate whether this is the right relationship for you. You cannot convince your partner to be more committed any more than your partner can convince you to be less committed than you want to be. But if you haven't had a discussion as to how the 2 of you define commitment, you may want to start here and determine if you're on the same page to minimize misunderstandings and disappointment of unmet expectations.