It's Not My Therapy, it's Your's!

I had the most interesting conversation with another person yesterday. They asked me if I ever contacted clients 6 months after they've ended therapy to see how they are doing and if the therapy was successful. I replied, "No. I don't. If I did, then this could be seen as intrusive to the client." My answer stumped them, but it got me thinking.

Clients often ask me, "How do you handle people's problems all day long?" The short answer is, I'm not. You don't want a therapist who makes your problems their problems. Then the person you're paying good money to has lost the objectivity you probably sought after in the first place. You want a therapist who can definitely provide empathy and support, but can simultaneously maintain an emotional distance from your problem, to best help you see past the problem and begin accessing resolution.

When a therapist gets too involved with the problem, the therapy can easily shift from the client's needs to the therapist's. This isn't what you're paying the therapist for. So, in responding to the original question about my outcomes and follow-up with past clients, I remain in the position that no news is good news. If the client ever needs to return, they can call me up and make an appointment.

Getting the Most Out of Counseling

If you've never been to counseling before, you may wonder what to expect out of the process. Counseling requires hard work, not in the way of using physical exertion, but more of working towards your goals. Wait! That means you need to have goals! So, you're going to counseling. What do you want to get out of it? What would you like to accomplish from your time with your therapist? How will you know when you're finished with your therapist? If you give yourself an opportunity to think about these questions and discuss them with your counselor, you'll be able to determine an appropriate path towards accomplishing your goals.

Now your goals are set and you have worked out a plan with your counselor. Now the work begins. Your counselor cannot do the work for you. This is your life and your responsibility to change it. Your counselor can provide you with tools to help you change your life, but if you aren't actively using these tools, you won't get very far and begin to get frustrated with your counselor and the therapy process.

Look at it this way. Your counseling sessions are only 45-50 minutes a week. This means you have an additional 6 days, 23 hours and 10 minutes before your next session. This provides you with ample opportunity to take what you've learned in your counseling and apply it in your everyday life. It's real easy to take the stance of "Out of sight, out of mind." However, your life isn't either. Your life is always in sight and staring you in the face. You now have the opportunity to take control and do something with it. You're paying good money to see this therapist. You owe it to yourself (and your wallet) to put the work into it.

If your feeling challenged by the work or the process is bringing up uncomfortable feelings, inform your counselor! It helps your counselor to know how you're reacting to the therapy. If you feel like you're hitting a wall each time you make the attempt to do the work and don't inform your counselor, that wall will feel bigger and higher trying to do it on your own. The counselor can help you process and work through what you're experiencing.

Counseling definitely follows the adage, "You get out of it what you put into it." Put your "all" into it and you'll have a better chance for therapeutic success!