Relationship Coaching Online

I've been on hiatus for a while. I'm now finding myself in a new era of helping others and have updated my blog profile to reflect as much. Rather than doing therapy, I'm now involved in a new way to deal with relationship challenges: Online Relationship Coaching. I find that this is a great way to provide relationship help to people all over the country in a fast, confidential way.

What's the difference between relationship coaching and therapy?

Relationship and couples therapy is an ongoing journey where you and the therapist meet on a regular basis to challenge the overall dynamics of your relationship. It's a longer term basis than coaching. Online coaching, on the other hand, is more about giving you advice, in short blocks of time, to solve a single issue within the context of your relationship. It is not therapy by any means, and not all issues are meant to be solved in this manner; however, it is a great place to start if you're not sure where to begin.

Is relationship coaching good for all relationship issues?

Absolutely not! If there is any kind of risk issues, such as suicidal thoughts, danger to others, abuse, domestic violence, alcohol & drug use, etc., it is best you work with a licensed professional face-to-face to get the support and help you need. Online coaching focus on specific issues within the context of intra- and interpersonal relationships. It's good for finding quick coping skills to short-term issues.

Where can I talk to you?

You can find me on RelationUP.com. I'm normally on there Monday through Thursday evenings. It is currently an app specifically for iPads and iPhones only (as a Android gal myself, I'm looking forward to their expansion to other platforms as well!). All the details, including costs, are on the website. It is easy to use and you have options to the Relationship Advisors you can "talk" to.


Anything else I should know?

All the information you need to know is on RelationUP.com, including costs, confidentiality, the differences of therapy and online coaching, etc.

In the meantime, I will be actively starting to blog once again. Please let me know what kind of articles and blog entries you would like to see and I'll be happy to make attempts to whip something up. I intend to leave all my past blog posts up and viewable as I believe they are all pertinent to relationships.

I look forward to reading your suggestions and feedback!

Letting People Know What You Need

Imagine going through a tough period of your life and wanting support from family and friends... without judgement, without advice, just a safe support network. However, anytime you attempt to reach out, people give you unsolicited advice or talk to you about their experiences, leaving you feeling like no one understands you. Ever have this experience? Then keep reading...

Usually when people give unsolicited advice or share experiences, it's because they want you to know you're not alone, or because they want to be helpful but may feel lost as to how to help. If you aren't speaking up, then the loneliness and frustration can cycle. Every person reacts differently to similar situations; hence, no one can possibly know how YOU feel... only how THEY would feel. Therefore, it's important to let people know how you feel and what you need from them to help you through this trying time. It'll give you an opportunity to reach out and give others to help you the way you really need it.

Reality vs. Fantasy

Getting a relationship off on the right foot may feel really easy in some ways. You seem to be able to talk for hours, you enjoy every waking moment together, and you may even begin to have some conversations of what the future may hold for the two of you. It's almost like you are a match made in heaven.

You don't want to dismiss these feelings, but at the same time, you want to make sure you approaching this relationship from a healthy viewpoint. It's easy to overlook or dismiss the other person's quirks or faults because you're so enjoying the time together. If you live further apart and are only spending intermittent weekends with one another, then each face-to-face meeting can feel like a mini-honeymoon as you reconnect. If you've recently broken up with someone, you may idealize this new relationship because they seem to have "everything" your last partner didn't.

Make sure you keep your feet planted firmly on the ground during this time. It feels great to revel in new feelings of hope and intense connection, but don't sacrifice what you are looking for in a relationship for these feelings. They subside a bit with time and comfortability, yet the character flaws you overlooked early in the beginning will still be there and now they aren't so easy to overlook. Keep your eyes, ears and heart open, evaluating all parts of the relationship. The right one will not cause you to "settle" for something you don't have to settle for.

Intimacy

When you think of being intimate with your partner, what's the first thing that comes to mind? If you said, "sex" or "physical intimacy" then you are in the majority. It's no wonder when I work with couples, many times they mention in the first couple of sessions how they "never have sex anymore" or the quality of the physical intimacy has waned over the years. I'll let you in on a little secret: (with the exception of a physiological ailment) the quality of your love life IN the bedroom mirrors the quality of the intimacy OUTSIDE of the bedroom.

Think of it this way... physical intimacy is a means to connect with your partner in a powerful way. However, if you aren't making the commitment to connect with your partner in other, positive ways, then is it really feasible to expect everything to fall into place in the bedroom? If you want to connect with your partner physically, then you have to make an effort to connect with them outside the bedroom first. Take a good look at how you interact with them when you see them upon getting home from work... Do you scowl at each other? Do you immediately go to separate rooms? Is one person in the kitchen cleaning up dinner while the other is playing on a computer? Notice the lack of connection... there's no support, communication or demonstration of wanting to connect with one another in these examples... yet, suddenly... there's an expectation to be connected in the bedroom. It's unrealistic.

So, if you want to increase your physical intimacy with your partner, start by looking at positive connections outside the bedroom...it'll make connecting IN the bedroom much more worthwhile!